Your Box Box

‘Twas the night before Christmas...

Twas the night before Christmas, at YourBoxBox HQ.

Not a creature was stirring, there was no more to do.


The boxes were stacked by the chimney so neat,

Filled with bath salts and pasties and candies so sweet;


The owners were nestled all snug in their beds;

While visions of pleasure products danced in their heads;


Of women, en masse, shouting "NOW IS THE TIME,

We are no longer happy with masturbation that’s *fine*,”


We'll start out just monthly (and then add some more!),

Days of PRIORITIZING pleasure in store!


Then out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

Did they rise from their beds to see what the matter?!


They did not as these owners they lead by example.

They were snuggled in bed where the toys they were ample.


Pink canoes to be paddled. ‘Twas DIY time!

(Alas ‘Jilling off’ does not fit in our rhyme.)


So they followed their tagline which they own thru & thru.

They shouted with glee: WOMEN, now you do YOU!!


From outside came a voice, one which they did not know.

But it rang loud and clear—confidence it did show:


“It’s been a long time. Can't believe all I’ve seen.

It’s time for some change. Time for 2019!!

No matter your faith! Or what your belief!

It’s time for your Box to give stress relief!

Bestow on yourself the ultimate gift!

Masturbation provides a fab holiday lift!”


They heard a loud crash as the voice flew away.

And they’d never know who came visit that day.


Sharing wisdom and insights across our great lands.

It’s time to take matters into our own hands!



Dec 20, 2018 • Posted by crystal

Love the line “Now you do you!” Great poem!!!

Dec 20, 2018 • Posted by Alana

You embarrassed Santa! Now you are going to be on his naughty list…where you always wanted to be, lol! Just imagine the gifts the women on the naughty list get….

Dec 18, 2018 • Posted by Gene

Haaahahahah. Have missed you. Glad to see you are still you.

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